“And right now…I’m the blues in your left thigh, trying to become the funk in your right.”
It’s amazing how many people think that romance only exists between two people, that it is something that only couples can share…but I am here to tell you that romance should start with you. Because when you truly know how to romance yourself, then you can give romance to somebody else. Your Star Player is waiting on you to romance her/him. S/he’s waiting for you…trying to become the funk in your right.
So today’s #TakeCareofYourSELFTuesday question is tough, but as usual it is a necessary one.
In April of this year, I will turn 25. For the first time in my adult life I can answer confidently that yes, I love myself. If you had asked me this question a couple of years ago, my answer probably would have been some variation of “I think so”. Honestly, I believe I started on this journey of learning to love myself in high school, when I first started seeking love in other people. I can tell from old Facebook statuses that I was standing at the end of the aisle waiting for the love of my life to commit herself to me. And after a couple of failed relationships and disappointments over the years, I finally realized that love has to start with me.
And now I’m so in love with myself that it no longer troubles me when I do not receive the same amount or kind of love from another person. I’ve recognized that if I truly love myself wholly, that I will always be enough.
I show love to myself in many ways, one of which is discussed in L is for Love, Pt. II. To put it simply, I do all of the things for myself that I was previously looking for other people to do for me. So this means that I send myself flowers (just because and for special occasions), I take myself out on dates, I overload myself on self-care when I am feeling down, I remind myself of how special and beautiful I am, I look at myself in the mirror. & I mean, really look at myself in the mirror. I enjoy my own company. I know how to make myself laugh, I know what makes me smile. I know what makes me cry. I know what I like, what I dislike…I know who I am.
I recognize that even though I am far from perfect and will continue to grow and evolve through life, that I’m lit. However interested I am in someone else, I make sure I am just as interested in myself. The things I want for someone else to love or appreciate about me, I love and appreciate about myself. From my smile, to my laugh, to the way I give and how my mind works. I focus on building myself up. I do the work, even when it is tough. Every day is not pretty, and some days I am a mess. There are still days where I second guess myself, and allow myself to be swayed by the opinions of others, but I am 100% committed to making sure that I stand up and show up for me.
Don’t get me wrong, this is not an overnight, instant thing. Loving myself is a journey, and I walk through it every day. It has probably taken me the better part of two and a half years to get to this place, and I am excited about how much more in love with myself I will be in the years to come.